I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she pinky promised me she was 18
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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