She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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