she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
