I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
