If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
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