I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
