the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I will be naked everywhere
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
