break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize