listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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