No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
