i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
