did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
