Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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