On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
