I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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