wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Randomize
