i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
