I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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