I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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