butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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