Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
