He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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