I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize