Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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