i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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