we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize