Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
