I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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