Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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