How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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