even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
