Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
