Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
