So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
