he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
