I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
