just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
