Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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