i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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