threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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