i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
