So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
