Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
