Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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