He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
His hands were made for my vagina.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
