I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
