Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
His nipple licking is glorious
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