Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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