How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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