Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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