he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Someone signed my nipple.
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