Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
