Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We were destined to go to rehab together
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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