He is such a slut. More and more my type.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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