Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
