what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
