this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
