I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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