Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
