I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
