The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
